I can't really figure out what age Truman was in The Truman Show when he realized that he was being observed, but he was definitely older than I am now. Not that I actually think it's happening, but I've felt that somehow everyone has a little more insight into what's going on in my head lately than they should. I think it's because of two things: either I really am on some reality show about my life, or I'm just used to people not listening to me, and then I'm surprised when someone remembers stuff about me, or takes the time to find out something about me.

If I were being watched by millions of people, I wonder if all the things I am were scripted into the show, or if they were just my own developments. I think I'm a smart guy, but maybe I'm just told that. Or maybe everything that I think I do smartly is just done normally, but people tell me I've done it well. And being totally unskilled with relationships. Maybe it's natural, or maybe they're just all actresses who are told to react in a certain way. That might explain why I can't understand or guage any reactions they have to things I do or say. Maybe even I'm just a complete loser and the actors around me are just pretending that I'm average, but when they're off camera, they're just laughing at me, or more likely, they're talking about how hard their jobs are because I'm such an idiot, and they have to work doubly hard at making me seem normal.

If you're watching me write this, please, tell me.

~Gers-O