It's good to be comfortable at family parties/gatherings now. I only feel that way now, and even then, it's not quite how I want it to be. Being the oldest child on one side, and the oldest child on the other who isn't married, it doesn't take long each time for someone to bring up marriage and how "I'm next." You know how beating your child to teach them not to do something is bad parenting, right? Well, that's the same thing here. I'm mostly quiet when I go to relatives' houses. I usually just sit and listen to the adults talk, thinking about what they're saying, and having a conversation with myself. Either that or I play with the kids. I'm much more comfortable with the kids. Just like Trick Daddy, I lo'e the kids.
While I loved driving this weekend - because nighttime driving when it's raining is one of the best conditions to cruise in - I can do without the winter now. It's old now, but still good. Like Fresh Prince. I need some warm, dry weather now, in which to drive "quicker". And by quicker I mean 200. It'll happen. 160 has been done, but that's miles away from 200. It's not even 40 away, it's 40squared away. But I'll root that square with one dry weekend.
I had the small realization during the weekend that I need to build up more......well, I guess power, that has been used up over the last little while. I'm planning to do that, but how! It's gonna take a serious push for a while - to the tune of 6 months. I haven't gone on a push like that since just after university. But that was a different circumstance, where I had tonnes of time. Now I'm strapped for time and people to go along with it. But I don't care so much about not being able to do it this time, because I know I can. I just need some......power isn't the right word, but I don't know what the word is.......probably something like "presence" or "might" I guess........I'm gonna have it given to me, and I want to create some more of it myself. For good purposes, mostly.
Well, in closing, I've got a new anger-button thought, from this weekend. Anger-button thoughts are those things that I think about when I need to stop smiling (like when someone compliements me and I smile like a jackass) or when I need to get pumped up for something. I have a new one now, which burns me inside like liquid magma igniting fireworks on a hot summer day with chili sauce on top. It's good to have these kinds of things on hand, because you never know when you need to heat things up.
~Gers-O
While I loved driving this weekend - because nighttime driving when it's raining is one of the best conditions to cruise in - I can do without the winter now. It's old now, but still good. Like Fresh Prince. I need some warm, dry weather now, in which to drive "quicker". And by quicker I mean 200. It'll happen. 160 has been done, but that's miles away from 200. It's not even 40 away, it's 40squared away. But I'll root that square with one dry weekend.
I had the small realization during the weekend that I need to build up more......well, I guess power, that has been used up over the last little while. I'm planning to do that, but how! It's gonna take a serious push for a while - to the tune of 6 months. I haven't gone on a push like that since just after university. But that was a different circumstance, where I had tonnes of time. Now I'm strapped for time and people to go along with it. But I don't care so much about not being able to do it this time, because I know I can. I just need some......power isn't the right word, but I don't know what the word is.......probably something like "presence" or "might" I guess........I'm gonna have it given to me, and I want to create some more of it myself. For good purposes, mostly.
Well, in closing, I've got a new anger-button thought, from this weekend. Anger-button thoughts are those things that I think about when I need to stop smiling (like when someone compliements me and I smile like a jackass) or when I need to get pumped up for something. I have a new one now, which burns me inside like liquid magma igniting fireworks on a hot summer day with chili sauce on top. It's good to have these kinds of things on hand, because you never know when you need to heat things up.
~Gers-O
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